


Rivalry

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Destiel - Freeform, Gang Violence, Gangs, Gun Violence, M/M, Murder, Organized Crime, Threats, Violence, major angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-03 10:49:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1742030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel and Dean's paths were never destined to cross, but when they do, things change for the both of them.  Dean has to make an important decision and Castiel learns that sacrifices have to be made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Castiel

**Author's Note:**

> This work is written so that each chapter is either from the perspective of Dean or the perspective of Cas- just letting you know to avoid any confusion.
> 
> (This isn't my best writing but I had an idea and went with it; it hasn't been beta'd so I apologize for mistakes; feedback greatly appreciated)

It was a cold, wintry sort of night; Castiel Novak was on his way back from work. He worked at a convenience store and his apartment was favorably close by - about a twenty minute walk. It was growing darker, Castiel looked at his phone to check the time, _9:32_ , he sped up a little. He never liked walking alone this late at night, the area he lived in didn't exactly have a good reputation; only the other week a boy was stabbed a few blocks from Castiel's apartment. He turned briskly down a narrow road, it was a short cut. Everything seemed eerily still and quiet, the soft tapping of Castiel's shoes against the ground seemed to be magnified with the lack of noise coming from anywhere else. 

As Castiel approached a small alley he heard something, there were loud, angry voices cursing and shouting coming from the other end of the alley. Then there was a thud, a cry and the sound of feet echoing down the alley-directly towards Castiel; he looked urgently for a place of refuge; there was a large tree on the left hand side of the entrance to the alley, he made a dash and clambered behind it. He watched from behind the trunk of the tree as a group of between ten or fifteen men emerged from the alley, they stopped. 

'Thought you said you saw someone here?' one of the men turned on another.

'Well yeah, I thought I saw a guy, just standing right there.' He pointed in the area where Castiel had been standing only a few seconds beforehand.  
'Well he ain't here anymore is he.' The man spoke, his voice gruff and aggressive, and the other man retreated. The man who had just spoken seemed to be the leader of the group, or whatever it was, the rest of the men following his lead. He scoured the area, for a second Castiel thought the man had seen him, but his eyes passed over Castiel. The man nodded to himself, 'no one's here, we're safe.' He rubbed his hands on his jacket a few times, as if trying to get something on them-leaving his jacket with a reddish stain.

'Let's go.' The man said and the others followed him as he walked away.

Castiel waited until they were completely out of sight and his hearing range until he came out from behind the tree, his chest was heaving and his body was shaking. He'd never felt so afraid in his life, be brushed his coat down and looked nervously down the alley, fearing he may see another group of men come down it, but it was empty, and so Castiel decided he would walk down it.

Castiel gave a sigh of relief when he reached the other end of the alley, five minutes and he'd be at his apartment. He was just about to head down his road when he saw a figure on the opposite side, slouched on the sidewalk up against a fence, they were groaning and seemed to be in pain. Castiel paused, unsure whether to approach the figure, maybe he shouldn't get involved. He turned to walk down the road; he walked a few paces and then stopped, he couldn't just leave them- what if they were hurt? Castiel crossed the road and walked up to the figure, it was a man. His face was bloody and bruised, his left eye swollen. The collars of his jacket were covered in blood, and there was a deep red stain on his left thigh as well. 'Woah, woah, what happened here? Are you okay? Let me call 911.' Castiel hurriedly took out his phone and dialed the number.

'No, no...' the man grunted, he slapped the phone out of Castiel's hand, shaking his head. 

_Hello, please state your emergency_

Castiel reached for the phone, the man grabbed his hand and shook his head violently, the expression on his face urgent and desperate. 

_Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?_

Castiel pressed the 'end call' button. The man let out a sigh of relief. 'Thanks.' The man managed a faint smile, Castiel was unsure of how to respond, he frowned at the man. 

'Why won't you let me help you?' he asked. 

'I don't need help.' 

'Yes you do. Look at you, were you beaten up?'

The man didn't respond, he looked down and sighed. 'I got what I deserved. You don't need to worry, I'll be fine...Can you help me up please?' He looked at Castiel. Castiel put an arm around the man's shoulder and slowly got him up, the man winced as he did so, clearly in a great deal of pain. He was wobbly on his feet, struggling to walk a few paces, he pressed a hand on his thigh and bit his lip in pain. 'God that hurts,' he grimaced.

'Please, let me help you.' Castiel held out a hand, the man shook his head.

'What's your name?' The man asked, staring at Castiel.

'Castiel.'

'Well, look Castiel. I appreciate your concern, but, I don't need your help. Understood?'

Castiel took a step back and nodded, and watched as the man slowly limped away.

\---

Castiel was relieved once he was back inside his apartment, he'd had an eventful night- not one he wanted to repeated. He made himself a coffee and stirred it thoughtfully, his conscience was uneasy, guilt lingered at the back of his mind. He took a sip of his coffee, enjoying it's pleasant bitter taste; on the one hand he felt that he was right to have left the man- because that was what the man had wanted, but on the other hand, Castiel now felt responsible for the man's well-being.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, it was time he had sleep- he'd had a busy night and he was over thinking. He changed quickly into some pajama bottoms and slipped into bed.

___

Castiel woke early the next morning, all he'd dreamt about was the group of men finding him and attacking him and then that man's face- disfigured and bloodied. It was a stain on his mind, on his conscience, and there was nothing that Castiel could do to rectify his actions.

He was eager to get to work that day, hoping it would serve as some kind of distraction from the horrible mental image that he had circulating through his mind. He dressed quickly: black trousers and blue work shirt- the standard uniform. He made himself toast and coffee for breakfast and packed his lunch into his bag before heading out the front door ready to go to work.

The weather was much nicer than it had been the previous day, the sun was out and the temperature warm enough that Castiel could afford not to wear a coat. He walked to work at a leisurely pace, his mind clear of any unwanted thoughts. 

The store was relatively empty for the first few hours, Castiel sat behind his till, staring aimlessly into the distance. 'What ya thinking about Castiel?' one of his colleagues chipped in.

'Oh nothing really. How are you Ruby?' Castiel inquired. Ruby smiled, twirling her hair between her thumb and fingers. Castiel suspected for a while that Ruby had a crush on him and enjoyed making her happy by paying her some attention, although he did not share the same feelings.

'I'm peachy, how about you?' She replied, raising her eyebrows. 

'I'm fine, I had a weird night yesterday though.'

'You did?' 

'Yeah, almost ran into a couple of thugs or something and-'

'Oh God! Are you okay?' Ruby exclaimed, her eyes wide.

'Yeah, yeah I'm fine, and then-'

'I've heard that there's a gang round this area; cops are trying to close in on them. You should be more careful Castiel.' Ruby said in a concerned tone.

'I'll be more careful.' Castiel smiled at Ruby and returned back to his till as Ruby served a customer. 

\---

It was an hour before closing time, Castiel had only served eight customers that day, he yawned wearily, hoping the next hour went by quicker than the previous seven had. 

Twenty minutes until closing time. Two people walked into the store, one an elderly lady- tottering along, pushing a little canvas trolley and the other a man, he was wearing a hoodie so his face was covered, he limped down one of the aisles carrying a small food basket. Ruby served the old lady who was apparently very slow and very chatty. The man spent some time wandering through the aisles before limping over to Castiel's till, he set down his basket. There were only two items in it: alcohol and bandages, Castiel frowned slightly but thought nothing of it, it wasn't the strangest he'd seen. 

'That'll be twenty-seven dollars please Sir.' Castiel smiled up at the man, who nodded. The man reached into his back pocket and drew out his wallet, Castiel noticed his hand was bruised and there was a distinct cut running across his thumb. The man reached to hand Castiel the paper notes but then paused; 'hey, you're the guy from yesterday, Cassy wasn't it?' The man pulled his hood down and Castiel recognized him instantly. The swelling around the man's eye had gone down considerably, but parts of his face were still purple with bruising. 'Actually, it's Castiel.'

'I'll just call you Cas.' The man smiled. 'You're quite a looker y'know.' He grinned at Castiel and winked. Castiel lost his words for a moment,  slightly taken aback.

'Thank you.'

'Anyway, thanks for yesterday.' The man handed Castiel the money and began bagging his items.

'You're welcome. Would you mind if I asked your name?' Castiel inquired, the man didn't say anything at first, he looked up slowly.

'It's Dean.' 

'Well, you're welcome Dean.' Castiel smiled warmly..

Dean smiled back, 'yeah, thanks.' He picked up his bag, lingered for a second or two, and then left. Ruby walked over to Castiel's till. 

'What was that about?' she asked.

'What do you mean?'

'Don't play smart with me Castiel, that guy was checking you out! He seemed  _very_ interested in you.' Ruby pursed her lips, frowning at him. _  
_

'I don't know what you mean.'

Ruby rolled her eyes, 'whatever Castiel, he was checking you out, that's for sure.' She walked away.

Castiel smiled to himself, he'd never been checked out by a guy before, it felt kind of good. As he cleared up his till he found a slip of white paper, he opened it; there was a number scribbled on it with the words 'call me' beside it. Castiel folded the paper in half and slipped it into his back pocket, feeling certain he knew exactly who the number belonged to.


	2. Dean

Dean winced, every step was agony for him-the very slightest of movements causing shooting pains all along his leg.  _Not long now_   Dean thought to himself, he turned down a grimy, shady looking road, the kind parents would tell their kids to avoid. He hobbled up to a fairly large house, it looked old and not well kept- the bricks were discoloured, windows were smashed and weeds engulfing the front lawn. Dean knocked on the front door, a distinct knock: three short knocks in quick succession, then a pause and one long knock. The door opened slowly, a fairly big, burly sort of guy answered, he gave Dean a hard stare. _  
_

'So you've come back then?' he asked through gritted teeth, frowning at Dean.

'Looks that way doesn't it? Let me talk to Benny.' Dean tried to bustle his way past the man but he blocked Dean's way. 

'You wait here Dean, I'll go and ask Benny if  _he_ wants to talk to  _you.'_ The man fixed Dean with a piercing stare and Dean subsided. Dean could hear voices coming from one of the rooms, he tried to listen in but the voices were too muffled for him to make out; then the man left one of the rooms and walked back up to Dean.

'Benny say's he'll talk to you.' The man said through gritted teeth, he allowed Dean to walk past him but then grabbed his arm.

'What's this?' he indicated to the plastic bag Dean was holding.

'Oh, just bandages for my leg and I got us all some liquor.' The man snatched the bag from Dean and walked away into the kitchen, Dean rolled his eyes before heading into a reasonably large room.

The room was well decorated- the furniture looked sophisticated and elegant. There was a man in the middle of the room, his back towards Dean, he didn't turn when Dean entered the room. 'So you came back, Dean?' the man asked still facing the wall. Dean shuffled nervously, 'yeah, that's right, I wanted to-'

'Why?' the man spoke with a tone of power and authority. 

'I made a mistake.' Dean responded.

'Which was?' 

'I went against your order.' Dean dropped his eyes to the ground, the man turned around slowly.

'And you learnt your lesson?' The man asked.

'Yes.' 

'I've gotta say, I'm glad you came back, I would've missed you.' The man walked up towards Dean until he was directly in front of him, Dean looked up at the man. 'So, you can come back, but-' the man grabbed Dean's neck, holding it tight, clenching his fingers around it, 'if you fuck up again, there will be serious consequences, understood?' Dean wheezed a faint 'yes, Benny' and the man released Dean, leaving him choking and rasping for air. 

\---

Dean was in the kitchen, he'd decided it would be a good time to bandage his leg. Very slowly he peeled his jeans from his skin, the blood from his wound had stuck to the material and Dean cringed as some of his skin came away. Eventually, he managed to free himself from his jeans, he sat himself down on a stool and stretched his leg out, the wound was still open, it looked deep, Dean knew he couldn't just afford to bandage the wound, he'd have to stitch it. He heaved himself up and hobbled over to a small cabinet in the kitchen where they kept needle and thread, as they were often regularly needed. Once he'd retrieved the items he sat himself back down and began the process of sewing the wound up. 

The process was incredibly agonizing but Dean managed to complete the stitches, he cut himself some bandage and wrapped it several times around his thigh. Just as he was securing the bandage a man walked in, he was smaller in physique than the other man, he looked younger, his face not as hardened as the other men. 

'Dean? Are you okay?' The man hurried over to Dean.

'Yeah Adam I'm fine.'

'How is it?' Adam indicated towards Dean's leg.

'Not too bad, stitched it all up.' Dean crossed his arms and turned to Adam, 'd'you know who did it anyway?' Dean questioned.

'Probably Benny, I didn't see, they were all on to you, but he's the one who usually deals the stabbings.' Adam paused for a second. 'So Benny's let you back then?' 

Dean nodded, he pursed his lips. 'It was stupid of me to go against him...I just, I couldn't bring myself to do it, she was just a little girl.' Dean looked down for a second, his eyes watered slightly.

Adam sighed, 'he did say the _whole_  family...I guess we have to make sacrifices, it's just part of being in a gang, but we're family, you know that right?' Adam looked at Dean, a reassuring look in his eyes.

'Right, I'd do anything for my family.' Dean smiled at Adam, patting him on the back, before getting up of the stool and limping up the stairs.

\---

It was late, Dean decided he wanted a rest, some of the guys had gone out on another job- looting some house; but Dean had not joined them. He was laying on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, contemplating. He could feel himself slowly growing tireder when he heard a buzz, it came from inside the drawers beside his bed. Dean opened a drawer and reached inside, he pulled out his cell phone, there was a text from an unknown number, Dean opened it.

_Hey is this Dean? -Castiel_

Dean smiled to himself, he'd completely forgotten about that cute little guy at the store, he pressed reply but halted for second. One of the rules of the gang was no communication with anyone not affiliated with the group,  _ah who cares_ Dean thought to himself and he replied.

_Hey Cas, what's up?_

Dean rolled over onto his stomach, he felt a strange sense of excitement and anticipation- it had been a while since he'd had any contact with the 'outside world.'

_I'm getting ready for bed, what about you?_

Dean smirked, he was in a playful mood and tapped out a quick reply.

_Ah, just cleaning the old pipes_

It was a few minutes before Dean received a response.

_Cleaning the old pipes?_

Dean chuckled at Castiel's naivety. 

_Y'know- choking the chicken, bashing the bishop, stroking the snake..._

_-_

_I don't follow?_

Dean grinned, he hadn't been this amused in a while.

_Never mind Cas, I was pulling your leg anyways_

Dean rolled over onto his back, he glanced at the time: 11:40 pm - he was about to tap out a quick 'talk later' message when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs; he hastily slid his phone underneath his pillow. Adam walked in.

'Dean, you awake?' he asked.

'Yeah.'

'The cops got Garth.'

Dean sat up suddenly, shaking his head, his eyes wide open. 'They what? How? When?'

'You know they was looting that house today?' Adam asked, Dean nodded. 'Well someone called the cops on them, the others managed to make a run for it but Garth didn't make it.' Adam looked down.

'Oh.' 

'Yeah. Anyway, thought you should know.' Adam left the room.


	3. Castiel

Castiel stretched lazily, the sun was peaking through his curtains, splashing light into his room. He glanced at his alarm clock, it was 10 AM, he smiled, this was why he loved the weekend- no work. He pulled himself out of bed slowly, stretched again and shuffled down stairs.

He made himself some porridge and a mug of coffee, then went and retrieved the paper from his mailbox before sitting himself down on the sofa. The front story of the newspaper caught Castiel's attention "member of local gang arrested after attempted house robbery, in custody for questioning..." He wondered if the guy was from the same gang he'd nearly ran into the other week, he felt sightly unnerved by just how local the gang was and how he'd possibly almost been a victim of their crimes, he folded the paper up and finished his coffee. 

 He decided he'd go and see his brother for the day, he lived about an hours drive away and Castiel had not seen him in some time. 

\---

The drive to his brother's house was longer than Castiel had expected due to an accident on the road, but eventually he reached the tidy, clean residence and rang the doorbell.

'Why hello!' his brother welcomed Castiel inside warmly. 'How was the journey?' his brother inquired.

'It was pretty good, how've you been doing? Seems like forever since we last talked Gabe.' 

'Yeah, it does. I'm not too bad, I mean things haven't been great, but... not terrible either.' His brother cast his eyes to the floor, he twisted his hands nervously, he looked as if he wanted to say something but couldn't.

'Gabe, are you okay?' Castiel questioned. Gabe looked up, he collected himself and nodded.

'Yes, yes fine. Do you want something to drink? Must be thirsty.' Castiel shook his head, Gabe bit his lip and sighed. 'I need to tell you something.' Gabe looked his brother in the eye and Castiel nodded for Gabe to go on, 'I'm moving, next month, over to England.'

 'You? You're moving too?' Castiel looked downcast, but then his expression turned to one of contempt. 'First it was Anna, then Michael, now you? Gabe we only have each other and now you're leaving, great, that's just great.' Castiel clenched his fist, his eyes welling with emotion.

'I'm sorry, I wish I wasn't, but I got a job out there, a good job. I'm sorry.' Gabe apologized, his eyes pleading with Castiel's.

'No, sorry doesn't mean anything. Fine, go, leave, whatever. I was the only one who made an effort to stay in contact with any of you after Mom and Dad died; and now you're all leaving me? I've had enough.' Castiel stormed out of the house, and got into his car, slamming the door shut.

'Castiel, please!' Gabe called out, as Castiel revved the engine. Castiel shook his head, revved the engine once more and sped away.

\---

Castiel lay on his bed, contemplating. Had his response been irrational?  _I mean Gabe has every right to leave_ Castiel thought to himself, he took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. Why did things have to be so complicated? Why couldn't he just have a happy family, where everyone got along?  _Fuck family,_ Castiel cracked his knuckles  _what was the point anyway?_ He got up to make himself some coffee when his phone buzzed.

_Evening, baby_

Castiel smiled,  _perfect timing Dean_ he thought to himself, his mood lifting.  

_Hello Dean, how are you?_

As Castiel waited for a reply he felt a strange sense of excitement, Dean seemed to ignite something within him, something that made him feel good, something that made him feel elated. It was just something about him.

_I'm dandy but I miss you_

Castiel chuckled, what was it about this man? He'd only met him twice and yet in a strange way, Castiel missed Dean too.

_I'm bored_

Castiel texted back, he wanted to be a little more daring with his reply, but something held him back, part of him was cautious of getting a little _too_ friendly with Dean, I mean, he kinda liked him; but then again, there was another side of him that wanted to spend more time with Dean, wanted to get to know Dean.

_Let me entertain you_

Castiel smiled at the reply, was Dean  _hitting on him?_ Castiel couldn't help but feel a little flattered, he paused before replying.

_How do you intend on doing that?_

_-_

_I'll come over and show you_

Castiel eyes widened at the reply.

_You don't know where I live_

_-_

_Then tell me_

Castiel thought for a moment, he felt strange, not in a bad sense, he couldn't put a finger on it. There was something about Dean, something that made Castiel feel warm and fuzzy inside even when he was just looking at words on a screen, something that made him want to be with Dean, to know Dean. He typed out his address and hit the 'reply' button. Sent. Delivered. 

_I'm on my way_

 ---

Castiel sat waiting in the front room, his heart was doing somersaults in his chest, his pulse racing and he could do nothing to control it. He had a book out in front of him, and had tried to read it but had only succeeded in reading the first paragraph over and over again.

He bit his lip and glanced over to the clock, then he heard it. A firm-

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Castiel walked over to the door, his legs appeared to have gone numb and he stumbled once or twice before reaching the door. He opened it slowly.

Dean stood there, beaming a smile at him, 'may I come in?' Dean asked, glancing, almost anxiously, around himself a few times.

'Sure.' Castiel opened the door and Dean walked in quickly.

Dean's eyes were darting everywhere, taking in his new surroundings, he gave a few approving nods and then turned to Castiel.

'Nice place Cas.' 

'Thank you, do you want to sit down or?' Castiel gestured to the sofa, Dean smirked.

'Love to.' He plonked himself down and looked at Castiel, smiling 'you really are quite a looker,' he said into his palm. Castiel blushed.

Dean patted the space beside him and Castiel sat down slowly, he allowed himself a quick glance at Dean but even then it seemed to bring all the blood rushing to his cheeks.

'You know something, I'm shouldn't really be here,' Dean commented, turning to Castiel.

'You shouldn't?' Castiel narrowed his eyes.

'No, but I'm glad I am,' he grinned cheekily at Castiel.

'So am I, but I want to know why you shouldn't be here.' Castiel probed Dean for answers.

'Well, er-it's kinda hard to explain, well...' Dean sighed, he twisted his hands in his lap uneasily and looked at Castiel. 'Thing is, I'm...well I'm part of a- a gang, and-'

'A what!?' Castiel interrupted.

'I know, I know. I never wanted to be, just happened that way. But the thing is, we're-I mean all of us in the gang, we're not meant to have any...'outside communication-' Dean paused and smirked before carrying on, 'but see, you're... you're something else.' 

Castiel didn't respond straight away, absorbing everything he'd just been told. 

'I don't want you to get hurt, if you shouldn't be here then just go, I mean you-'

'Don't worry about it.' Dean placed a hand on Castiel's knee and leaned in slightly. 'I _want_ to be with you.'

Castiel blushed, he eyes fixed on Dean's hand and enjoyed the sensation that came with it's placement. 'I want to be with you too.' Castiel spoke in almost a whisper, the words came in a hurried kind of way and Castiel seemed almost surprised that he had said them.

Dean smiled, a warm and tender smile, he leaned his body in so that he was touching Castiel. 

'You ever kissed a guy before?' he murmured in a low tone. Castiel shuffled, finding it hard to keep eye contact with Dean.

'No, actually.' Castiel replied faintly.

Dean nodded, 'it's not that different to kissing a girl really, but it's better, I think...you been with a girl right?' he questioned noticing the puzzlement on Castiel's face.

'Y-yes, of course.' Castiel's words came out in a nervous stammer.

Dean moved his face closer to Castiel's so that it was only inches apart. 'Then, you'll pick this up just fine.' Dean cupped Castiel's face with his hands and pressed his lips against Castiel's, with a gentle urgency. Castiel moved his hands so they were around Dean's back and pulled him closer to himself, the kiss becoming more passionate as he did so; Dean's tongue was exploratory and wild and Castiel reciprocated with a similar intensity.

Castiel moved one of his hands from Dean's back and instead began to make his way under Dean's t-shirt, he could feel the firmness of Dean's torso, the smooth shape of his muscular figure, Castiel moaned. Never had he touched a man in this way before and yet it felt so natural, so right. 

Castiel's fingers reached the sensitive bud, Castiel teased it between his fingers and smiled when Dean gave a raggedy sigh in response. Dean began to direct his attention to Castiel's torso too when there was a buzzing sound that came from his pocket; Dean came away from the kiss with a distinct slurping kind of sound and sighed, 'way to kill the moment,' he joked as he withdrew his phone from his pocket.

He glanced at the screen and Castiel watched as his faced turned from an expression of contentment to one of anxiety and agitation. 'I'm really sorry Cas, I got to go.' Dean didn't say anymore, and Castiel didn't ask any questions. Dean hurriedly grabbed his jacket, made a quick wave-like gesture to Castiel and left.

 


	4. Dean

It had been over a week since Dean had seen Castiel. He wanted to see him again, but Benny seemed to be getting suspicious and Dean didn't want to make any rash decisions. He was in the kitchen, eating a bacon sandwich; it was a relatively sunny Tuesday morning and he'd got up for an early start. He liked it when he was the first one awake, he felt he could finally have some privacy, some peace and quiet. He was eating the last mouthful of his sandwich when Benny strode in, Dean glanced up at him and Benny's eyes fastened to Dean's with a strong sense of distaste. 

'You're up early Dean?' Benny broke the silence, his tone somewhat threatening.

'Er-yeah, that a problem?' Dean asked, he looked around himself uneasily.

'No, no not a problem.' Benny lips curved into a smile, although it wasn't really a smile at all. 'Just curious as to why you are up at this time, can't sleep?' Benny raised an eyebrow, his eyes glinting.

'I sleep just fine, thanks.' Dean replied bluntly, his voice low and gravelly. 

'Good, I'm glad.' Benny fixed Dean with one last stare, before leaving the room. Dean let out a sigh of relief. He never felt at ease with Benny, somehow Benny managed to create an atmosphere between them so thick, that you couldn't even cut it with a knife. 

Sometimes, Dean wished that he could just leave, be done with all of this. But he couldn't, he could never bring himself to walk out of that door and not come back, this gang, it was his family- he'd been a part of it since he was fifteen- it was his home. But now he was questioning himself, his priorities, considering his future. He didn't want to spend the rest of his life burgling houses, hurting people...even, murdering people; he didn't want this to be his legacy.

Dean ran a hand through his hair wearily, what else could he do? Before, he'd of said that he would never have the strength to leave the gang, but since meeting Castiel he was beginning to feel differently. Sure, these guys, they were like his brothers but Castiel made Dean feel something that he'd never felt before; he felt he could truly be himself around him. It was strange, because he'd only just met the guy and yet Dean felt so comfortable, so at ease. He let out a heavy sigh.

\---

'Dean? You in here?' there was a knock on Dean's door.

'Yeah.' Dean responded, the door opened and Chuck walked in. Along with Adam, Dean was the closest with Chuck, they had always got on, Chuck was gentle-spirited and kind; Dean didn't feel like he belonged in a gang; but then again, Chuck had a temper and a completely different side of him showed whenever anyone pissed him off. 

'You know what's happening tonight?' Chuck asked.

Dean nodded. 'Gonna nick that house, two hour drive, isn't it?' 

Chuck confirmed Dean's question with a nod. 'Thereabouts. There's five of us going, we need to leave by eight.' 

'Okay, thanks.'

'No problem.' Chuck left the room, closing the door behind him slowly. 

Dean slipped out his phone from his jean pocket, he kept his phone on him at all times now, he didn't want anyone 'accidentally' finding it in his drawer. 

One new message.

Dean opened it. It was Castiel.

_We should meet up again_

Dean smiled.

_We should_

_-_

_Tonight?_

Dean snapped his fingers angrily, if he had known Castiel was free tonight he wouldn't have agreed to this stupid job. 'Dammit.' He sighed.

 _Sorry Cas, I'm not free -_ he reluctantly clicked the 'send' button.

-

_Oh okay, another time then_

_-_

_Yeah, soon I hope_

_-_

_Me too_

Dean read the words and slowly slipped his phone back into his pocket, he glanced at the time: 7:45pm. Fifteen minutes and he'd be in that car and driving away to do some godforsaken job. He shook his head, why was he doing this? 'It's fucking illegal Dean.' He whispered angrily to himself, his moral compass rattled inside of him. He felt tears welling up within him and desperately tried to suppress them, he didn't need this, not now. 

'DEAN?' A voice called from down the stairs- probably Adam, Dean ignored it.

'DEAN? We're ready to go!' 

Dean got up, pulled on a leather jacket, walked slowly down the stairs, out the front door and into the car, slamming the car door shut.

\---

It was dark, very dark. The car was parked outside the house, it was a nice house. Benny was discussing the arrangements with Gordon who sat next to Benny in the passenger seat. Dean, Adam and Chuck sat in the back, silently. Benny turned around to face them, he spoke in a gruff whisper 'there's an easy entry point from the back of the house- big glass doors, we wont spend too long but we need to make good money from what we do get, understood?' he eyed all the men, they nodded. 'It's just a mum and her kid there at the moment, husband's away. We're only focusing on the ground floor, understood?' again, the men nodded in agreement. 'Right, what's the time?' Benny checked his watch. 'One fifteen, you all ready?' they nodded in confirmation, 'let's go.'

The men exited the car silently and crept behind a few trees and bushes to the back of the house. Dean's heart was pounding in his chest, sure, he'd had experience but he hated doing this. They soon reached the large glass doors, Adam was handed some tape, he marked a cross with the it - in the center of the right door, before picking up his crowbar. With great precision he slammed the crowbar into the middle of the cross, the glass came away easily, there was some noise but not enough to draw any attention; the rest was easy. 

The five crept slowly into the house, Benny gestured for them to spread out. Dean took out his bag, there were two silver candlesticks on the shelf above the fire place, he took them and slipped them into the bag, his eyes scanned the room for any more valuable items. He noticed a cabinet in the corner of the room, unlatched it and opened it slowly, it creaked slightly making Dean's breath hitch; he removed some china ornaments and some other items that looked vaguely expensive, then closed the cabinet. 

He tread quietly across the carpet over to the archway that led to the hallway, then he heard a noise. He froze. There was the patter of steps coming down the stairs, Dean's heart was thumping in his chest. He saw a little girl of about five or six walk down the stairs, then, Dean saw. Chuck was standing at the bottom of the stairs, next to a shelf, he had something in his hand, his eyes were fastened on the little girl. And then she saw him too.

She didn't scream or cry, instead she seemed puzzled or confused. She walked up to Chuck.

'Why do you have that in your hand?' she pointed at the object he held, Chuck's mouth moved but no words came out, he simply looked at her. 'That's my Mommy's you know.' She stated, folding her arms.

'Katie?!' A voice came from the top of the stairs. 'Oh my God...' the voice came again, breathless. 

Dean watched as a woman walked shakily down the stairs, she had a shot-gun in her hand, and was pointing it directly at Chuck.

'You...you stay away from my daughter.' The woman said her voice unsteady. Chuck backed away, raising his hands in the air. 'Katie, get way from that man, go dial 911.' The girl went to the phone hanging up on the wall and shakily pressed the buttons. Chuck was frozen, his eyes wide with fear. 'Don't move .' The woman said through gritted teeth, pointing the gun at Chuck's head.

Dean watched the girl hang the phone back up, after the call, she was walking back over to her mother when she tripped on the edge of a rug and fell into Chuck.

What followed was a blur, Dean heard the gun go off and then there was crying and screaming and panic. Chuck was on the floor, his hands were pressed to his chest and a gurgling, choking sound was coming from his throat. The woman and the little girl were sitting on the bottom step of the stairs, crying. 

Dean ran over to Chuck, no longer caring if the woman saw him. 'Chuck? Chuck? you with me?!' Dean held Chuck's face in his hands. Chuck looked up at him, a trickle of blood came from the corner of his mouth, he moaned and held his stomach tighter. Dean looked at the wound, his whole shirt was covered in blood. 'You're gonna be okay, stay with me, you'll be just fine.' Dean's voice broke with emotion, tears were rolling down his cheeks. 

'Dean...' Chuck croaked, his eyelids growing heavy.

'Shh, shh don't talk, don't talk.' Dean held Chuck closer to him, resting Chuck's head on his lap. Chuck heaved last raggedy breath, followed by a long, drawn sigh and then nothing. Dean felt the life leave his body in that moment, his eyes no longer conveyed pain but a coldness. Dean sobbed,emotion rattling through him.

'Dean! Dean we gotta go! DEAN!' Adam ran beside Dean, shaking his shoulder. Dean didn't budge. 'Dean! C'mon! Benny's gonna leave! Dean, listen to me, Chuck's gone. Please!' Adam voice pleaded with Dean's.

Dean looked at Chuck, he rested his head slowly back on to the floor. 'I'm sorry.' He whispered. 

Then he got up and left.


	5. Castiel

BANG! BANG! BANG! 

'I'm coming, I'm coming.' Castiel walked quickly to his front door, he fiddled his keys into the lock and opened the door cautiously.

Dean.

'Dean?! Oh my God, Dean what's wrong?' Castiel helped Dean inside. Dean was shaking, he stuck his hands out and looked at them; they were covered in blood. Chuck's blood. 'Dean, sit down. Are you hurt? Oh God.' 

Dean sat down slowly, his face was drained of any colour, his shoulders were hunched and his head drooped slightly. Castiel sat beside him, 'Dean, what happened?' Castiel's voice was soft, his eyes full of concern. Dean turned slowly, his eyes met Castiel's and another tear crawled down his cheek; he opened his mouth, shut it and then opened it again.

'Chuck's dead.' He croaked, his face creasing up with emotion. Castiel tentatively placed a hand on Dean's back.

'I'm so sorry.' Castiel sympathized.

Dean shook his head. 'She killed him! Cas! He's dead! HE'S FUCKING DEAD!' Dean yelled, his voice catching. He noticed his hands again and his body convulsed with emotion. Castiel pulled Dean into him, allowing Dean's head to rest in the crook of his neck.

'It'll be okay.' He whispered.

\---

Castiel woke up the next morning in an awkward position,  his right arm was behind his back and his left arm was resting across Dean's face- who happened to be stretched across Castiel. Castiel maneuvered himself off of the sofa in a way as to not disrupt Dean too much. He strolled over to the kitchen and boiled some water to make coffee for himself and Dean.

Soon, he heard a grunt come from Dean and then a few more and then 'shit, where am I?' Castiel walked into the room stirring a mug of coffee, he gave a breathy kind of laugh at Dean's bewilderment. 'You're at my place.' He reassured Dean, Dean acknowledged the reply with a nod, his momentary puzzlement was replaced with an expression of pain.

'I remember now.' Dean said, his voice quiet.

'Do you want to talk about it?' Castiel asked. 

Dean shrugged, his eyes resting on the ground. 'Not much to talk about.'

Castiel nodded. 'Okay. You want coffee?'

'It was this house...' Dean turned to face Castiel, he took a deep breath and continued, 'we were looting this house, it was going to plan, and then...then this little girl she saw Chuck and her mom came and....well...she panicked and...I can't remember exactly, but she shot him...' Dean's eyes were glassy, he bit his bottom lip and shook his head slowly. 

Castiel came up beside Dean, he placed the mug of coffee down on a table and picked up Dean's hands in his own. 'I wish you didn't have to go through this, but I'm going to try my best to be here for you. I love you.' Castiel planted a kiss on Dean's head and a faint smile played on Dean's lips. 'Thanks Cas.' 

\---

It was early evening, Dean was slouched on the sofa, a bowl of pretzels in his hand. The TV was playing some crappy show and he sat watching it, his face looked peaceful. Castiel was in the kitchen cooking dinner, he'd decided on a cheesy pasta sauce and set about making it. 

'Dean?' Castiel called from the kitchen as he poured a packet of pasta into a pan.

'Yeah?' Dean responded, his eyes not leaving the TV screen.

'Do you want to stay here?' there was a pause, Dean picked up a pretzel and began crunching slowly on it, his eyes flickered away from the TV.

'I don't know.' He replied.

'Oh. Okay.' Castiel continued with his cooking.

\---

It was dinner time, Castiel was traditional when it came to dinner, always sat at the table to eat, never in front of the TV or anywhere else for that matter. Dean joined him, sitting in the chair opposite, Castiel handed him some cutlery and then poured him a glassful of water. Dean tucked in straight away, mouthful after mouthful, barely taking a breath; Castiel was more refined in eating, taking small bites. 

Dean licked his lips and picked up the remaining pieces of his dinner with his fork, 'that was great Cas,' he said, smiling at Castiel.

'Thank you.' Castiel replied, finishing the last few mouthfuls of his food. 'Have you thought about what I asked you earlier?' he asked, looking at Dean.

Dean glanced away, he twisted his hands together uncomfortably, 'thing is, I really don't know...I mean- I think I have to go back...they'll find me if I don't...but-'

'It's okay, you can go back.' Castiel reassured Dean.

'I know, but I want to stay Cas...I can't let them find out about us though...for fuck sake-' Dean ran a hand through his hair and dropped his head, shaking it slowly, when he looked up again there were tears welling in his eyes, 'I wish I could...I wish-I want to stay with you-' Dean's voice cracked, he wiped away a tear with the flat of his hand and sighed. 'Cas,' he looked up at Castiel, 'Cas I've gotta go, now. They're gonna be looking for me, wondering where I am- but I'm gonna try and leave, I promise...I'm sorry.' Dean got up and grabbed his jacket that was resting on the arm of the sofa, he headed towards the door.

'Dean, wait,' Castiel walked up to Dean and cupped his face firmly in his hands before drawing him in for a long and passionate kiss, Dean pulled Castiel into him, not wanting to let him go.

Castiel broke the kiss and stared at Dean, 'please promise me that you will come back.'

'I promise.'


	6. Dean

Dean felt nervous as he approached his house, he knew that he'd be interrogated by the group as to his whereabouts the previous night; he knocked on the door, hesitantly.

Adam answered, he didn't greet Dean the way he usually would have, instead he fixed him with a cold, stony stare. Dean frowned, but thought nothing of it, he walked slowly inside, waiting for Benny's rough voice to disrupt the peace, he didn't have to wait long.

'Dean, there you are.' Benny walked confidently towards Dean. 'Had a nice little break?' he sneered. 'Y'know, if you wanted to have a day off, you could have at least let one of us know.' Benny mocked.

'My phone died.' Dean lied.

'Did it?' Benny raised an eyebrow.

'Well I think so.' Dean reached into his jean pocket, he felt around, his phone wasn't there. He reached into his other pocket, not there either. Then he reached into his jacket pockets, not there. 'I seem to have lost it.' Dean said, panicking slightly. 

'I seem to have found it.' Benny pulled out Dean's phone from his own pocket, holding it triumphantly, a smug smile spread across his face. 'You know Dean, you should really have a pass-code on your phone.'

Dean froze, his eyes widening with the realization of what Benny was saying. 'Cas.' He breathed.

'Cas, yes, Cas. This guy that you seem to be infatuated with. Who is he?' Benny's voice had a menacing edge to it.

'Just a guy I met.' Dean said plainly, trying to convey as little as possible.

'Didn't know you were a fag Dean.' Benny responded. 

'Didn't you?' Dean's voice was matter-of-fact.

'Don't really like fags.' Benny said in a low, cool tone. Dean clenched his jaw. 'Thing is Dean, this Cas guy, he's...how do I put this? He's compromising you, I can tell. You act differently now, and, of course, you seem to want to spend more time with him.'

Dean said nothing.

'So, you need to make a decision, you go and be with him- and we _kill_ you. Or, _you_  kill _him_ , and prove your loyalty to the gang.'

Dean's mouth dropped, he shook his head. 'No, no, no...Benny you can't do this, no, please, I'm sorry...it won't-'

'What's it going to be?' Benny cut off Dean.

Dean stared at the ground, shaking his head; he took a deep breath and looked up at Benny.

'I'll kill him.'

\---

Dean wanted to be sick, his stomach was knotting inside of him as he got closer to Castiel's apartment. The rest of the gang were coming with him to make sure 'he finished off the job.'

Dean reached the door, he was about to knock when Benny raised a hand, he glowered at Dean. 'You got it?' he asked through gritted teeth.

Dean revealed the butt of his shot gun from the inside of his jacket, Benny nodded in approval. 'We'll be waiting.' Dean nodded. Benny grabbed Dean's arm 'remember, if you don't complete the job, there will be  _serious_ consequences.' Dean removed his arm from Benny's grasp and nodded again, before knocking on the door.

'Hey Dean!' Castiel greeted, surprised. Dean gave a curt greeting in reply and walked inside slowly, the butt of the shot-gun kept nudging into Dean's chest, making him wince. 'So they let you go?' Castiel asked, his voice warm and soft.

'Yeah.' Dean replied, attempting a smile.

'Oh.' Castiel looked surprised, he seemed at a loss for what to say or do next, 'do you...want a drink?'

'I'm fine.' Dean sat down heavily on a chair, Castiel came up beside him and knelt down so he almost was level with Dean.

'Dean, something's wrong? What is it?'

Dean shook his head, he felt his throat go tight and his eyes pricked with tears. 'Cas, I've gotta kill you.' His voice came in a rushed whisper. Castiel didn't reply straight away, comprehending the enormity of the situation. 'What?' Castiel's voice was timid and small.

'They found out everything Cas, they want me to kill you...' Dean couldn't reach Castiel's eyes.

'We can figure this out okay,' Castiel whispered. 'We'll find a way.'

'They're waiting outside, they won't wait for long.' Dean mumbled.

Castiel thought for a moment. 'We can pretend, I'll make a fuss and then you shoot the floor, they won't know any better...then, you go outside, say you did it, I mean...they wouldn't come in would they?' Castiel's voice was animated, he looked at Dean anxiously for a confirmation that his idea would succeed.

'It might work.' Dean replied, 'I don't see why they'd come and look, they're just listening for the shot...I don't know...It's the best we can do.' Dean nodded to himself and slowly drew out the shot-gun from his inside pocket; Castiel's eyes fastened on to it for a second and then he returned his gaze back to Dean.

'Okay, I'll start shouting, cry a bit or something.' Castiel said in a hushed tone, Dean nodded.

'No! No Dean! What are you doing? Dean listen to me!' Castiel knocked a chair down with his hand and continued pleading with Dean, then he nodded and Dean shot the gun at the floor, Castiel fell to the ground and nodded at Dean to go outside.

Dean walked to the door slowly, he was shaking and beads of sweat were dripping from his forehead, his pulse was racing. He opened the door, Benny stood there. 'So you did it?' he asked, Dean nodded slowly.

Benny laughed. 'No you didn't.' 

Suddenly Dean felt a cold, sharp and intense pain in his abdomen; Dean looked and watched as Benny withdrew a knife from his body, covered in blood. Dean fell to the ground. 

Benny stood over him and shook his head, 'you really think we're that stupid? Had Gordon keeping an eye on you, maybe Cas should close his curtains next time. Good riddance, Dean.' Benny smiled and walked away.

Dean pressed his hands over his stomach, the pain was overwhelming, agonizing, and all he could do was lie on the cold steps of Castiel's apartment and slowly die.

The moments that followed were a blur to Dean as he slipped in and out of consciousness. He remembered hearing Castiel's voice,  then there were gun shots fired and then Dean felt a warm body next to his and kind, soft words in his ear.

 


	7. Castiel

'Dean, Dean...baby.' Castiel stroked Dean's forehead tentatively. Dean's eyes were droopy, his movements very slow, even the smallest of things seeming to take so much effort. 

'I'm sorry Cas...' Dean croaked.

'Shh, no, you don't need to be sorry.' Castiel wiped a tear from Dean's cheek and smiled down at him. 'You're going to be okay, I promise, you'll be fine.' 

'What happened...with...the gun?' each word was so strained, every syllable a struggle to say.

'Never mind,' Castiel said gently, stroking Dean's hair.

'Please.' Dean gasped.

'I shot them, one's dead- big guy. The other got hit in the leg, he's gone.' 

'Thanks Ca-' Dean groaned and winced, he clutched at his stomach, then he began coughing, retching, a horrible grating sound. He was wheezing and choking, blood splattered from his mouth with every cough, and with every lurch of his body more blood came. Castiel held Dean closer, tears running down his face. 

'Stay with me,' Castiel held Dean closer to him.

'I-love-you...' Dean wheezed each word, trickles of blood escaping from the corners of his mouth.

'I love you too.' Castiel whispered.

Dean smiled, his face began to relax, every contortion or note of pain smoothed out into a peaceful expression. He heaved one last, uneven breath and then his body became still, limp in Castiel's arms. Castiel buried his face into Dean's jacket, wanting to be as close to him as possible, wanting to smell him to feel him, for one last time. 

'I can't live without you,' Castiel sobbed into Dean's body. 'I can't...I can't...' 

He lifted his tear stained face and glanced around him, on the floor, a few inches from him was the shot gun. Castiel looked at it and a realization swept over him.

He picked the gun up and held it in his hands, he turned it over a few times and then glanced over to Dean. 

'I can't live without you,' he said, his words barely a whisper. He slowly raised the gun, pressing the muzzle to his temple. He started to shake and more tears made their way down his face.

'I won't live without you...' 

He pressed the trigger.


End file.
